she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
