grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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