im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
