As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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