I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
When are your genitals available?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
