hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
