Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize