Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(343): View more from Ontario

No awkward lesbian experiences without me

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(417): View more from Missouri

So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"

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(517): View more from Michigan

He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters

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(509): View more from Washington

And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico

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(512): View more from Texas

I want to ride his face like a jet ski

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(+54): View more from

My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7

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