i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
