I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
