u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
