Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
