at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
