it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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