dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
