I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
