You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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