We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
