I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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