none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
