I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
