don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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