So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
