best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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