MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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