So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
