I puked a lego.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
