I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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