i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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