your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
