my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
