You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
