Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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