Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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