So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
