Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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