I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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