She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
