I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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