We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
