no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
