Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
