we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
