I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
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It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
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I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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