Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she peed on how many people?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
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Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
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As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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