So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
