No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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