I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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