I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
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I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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