Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
