Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
