I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
