I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
