apparently the secret to your success is patron
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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