Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
