I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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