So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
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she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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