If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
