im holly from the hills drunk
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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