Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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