Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
