Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
