we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he laminated a picture of his dick.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
