Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
