Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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