so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize