is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Randomize
